The other day Jacques and I went to a restaurant in Oakland Chinatown for lunch. You know, it's the kind of place where the floor is slightly sticky and you get "Set lunch A1" with a cup of HK milk tea for $3.75.
The following is an interaction we witnessed among 3 strangers that I feel compelled to share.
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Across from us sat a middle-age Chinese lady with too much makeup on (we Chinese would call it "baboon's ass"), wearing a red sweater liberally embellished with gold sequins. Let's call her Nancy.
Nancy was sitting by herself at a table for 4, with newspaper and plates and personal belongings scattered all over the table.
Next to Nancy (connected by a bench seat) is a bespectacled young businessman in a smart-looking suit. Let's call him Kelvin. Kelvin is also sitting by himself at a 4-person table, with a PDA and a cell phone in front of him.
Nancy and Kelvin were both eating their food, minding their own businesses, when this lady in her 60's walked in. She looks like someone's grandma. Let's call her Grandma.
Nancy (upon seeing Grandma whom she knows, waving dramatically): Hi Grandma! How are you? So good to see you! Please come join me!
Grandma: Oh hi, Nancy, good seeing you too (walking towards Nancy, standing by her table)
Nancy: Did you see the Tupperware on sale next door? How's your husband's toe fungus? Did your son get a big raise this year? (and on and on an on with the annoying questions...)
Grandma: Oh yeah, they're great (looking somewhat annoyed, hoping to find a seat somewhere else)
Nancy: Oh hey, why don't you sit down here? You must be tired standing there.
Grandma: (couldn't find an excuse or any open table) Oh, sure... (trying to sit next to Nancy)
Nancy: Oh no, not here, it's too messy. Sit here! (pointing at bench seat at Kelvin's table, right next to Kelvin)
Kelvin: (looks at Nancy, like "What the *&^%?!")
Nancy: (gets Kelvin's look) What, you're by yourself, right? (curtly)
Kelvin: (fairly annoyed) No, I'm waiting for a friend.
Nancy: (pointing at seat across from Kelvin) Your friend can sit there. See, perfect! Grandma, you can sit here next to this man.
Grandma: (embarrassed, looks at Kelvin) Are you sure it's OK?
Kelvin: (exasperated) Sure...
Grandma now sat down reluctantly beside Kelvin, visibly uneasy, clutching her umbrella tightly at chest level. Kelvin, also visibly uneasy now scooted along the bench away from his own table, trying to keep some distance from this stranger next to him. Nobody spoke, and the tension was in the air was so thick even Jacques and I stopped talking.
Meanwhile, Nancy whipped out her cell phone from her purse, and started an animated conversation with a contractor ("You know you can't fool me with cheap material coz I'm not stupid"), completely ignoring Grandma.
This went on for another 10 minutes with Nancy talking on the top of her lungs over the phone, while Grandma and Kelvin sat there like statues. After what seems like eternity, another table opened up and Grandma excused herself and dashed over to claim that table in lightning speed (don't think she's ran that fast in years).
Finally, everyone (including me and Jacques) could breathe a collective sigh of relief and go back to our lunch, which has now gone cold.